I Prefer My Chimps Cremated

Well, oh boy. Where do I begin this week? Maybe with a strole down Sunset Boulevard. I genuinely enjoyed the film until about 45 minutes had passed. Then, I just wanted to throw rotten vegetables and "boos" at the screen. Not with the intention of suggesting that it was poorly made-it was quite the opposite, in fact. The overacting, dramatic lighting, and thrilling music just started to make my stomach turn. Or was that the Trix I packed for a snack? No, no... it was definitely Norma. I wish I were better with words so I could clearly depict just how awfully uncomfortable I felt. I wanted to scream and beg her to stop, or maybe just go on and kill herself. Although, if I wanted to be honest, I would have to say that all of this must mean that the movie, overacting, dramatic lighting, and thrilling music included, was successful. Ugh. Film. Why do I let you control my emotions?!

I found myself sympathizing with Betty. On my list of qualities the only thing I had written for her was "pure." So she wasn't necessarily "pure," what with her cheating on Arty and all, but her intentions and desires weren't as dark as other characters in my mind. I also found the non-Norma life much more realistic. I never quite figured out why Norma's world was more believeable. She reminded me of Cruella de Ville.

TV guide channel inspired an epiphany last night. Hollywood is an alternate reality.

Will Mop for Peter

Directing is cool. Acting is fun. Lighting is a bore. Sound is aaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing. I kept hating myself while we watched the special on sound from Lord of the Rings. Why, oh WHY, was I not blessed with an innate love for film, and thus soundmaking? Instead, I'm going to manipulate joints and make people walk again. Arguably, I could change my life plan. It is, of course, never too late to find a new passion. I think I have quite a few character traits that would be beneficial in the world of soundmaking... I like to think I'm fairly creative, imaginative, a go-getter. But, on the other hand, I'm not sure I have the patience to do tedious work with things or co-workers. So, maybe sound's not for me. It was a nice dream while it lasted.

I found my gag reflex while we watched the Star Wars guys put their movie together. Watching them tear the movie apart and put it back together made me a nervous wreck. There are endless possibilities as to how that film, or any film for that matter, could be put together. I would drive myself crazy trying to figure out which version I liked best. I'm too much of a perfectionist. Needless to say, while I'm interested in the idea of editing 20 clips together to create a story, I'm definitely not excited. I think I'd rather watch Steven Spielberg do it.

I'm hoping to be discovered by Peter Jackson soon. I think I'll start sending him psycho fan mail, maybe show up at his "sound palace" once a week until he hires me. I'll mop his floors. Or brush his hair. I don't care. He seems like fun.

How Channing Tatum Affected Hollywood

I found myself wondering in the shower after class the other day: Is there anything in my life that I could compare to what people experienced decades ago when movies hit the big screen? I couldn't think of anything off the bat. The way I imagine it... people were blown away by this thing called movie. An image. Huge. On a white screen. It's a pretty monumental jump to go from something as small and simple as a zoetrope, or theater with live people, or real life, even, to a larger than life moving image on an otherwise inanimate, boring screen. This. Was. HUGE. What new invention have I seen come to fruition that rocked the world as widely as film? Ipods, perhaps, are the only widespread new entertainment technology that has happened in my memory. Although, Ipods are not to me what movies must have been to the public way back when. Is this because the progression from walkman to Ipod was the natural next step? I'm not sure.

Learning about the history of film in the sweetened, condensed way that we did last week made me realize just how little I know about so much. It was refreshing to be knocked down on my intellectual rear end and be humbled once again. I was fairly impressed at the rapid pace at which humans have been able to make progress in the filmmaking world. It seemed like such a short span of time for us to move from the primitive stop motion of George Melies's The Conjuror to Footlight Parade with wild, aquatic choreography by Busby Berkeley. I guess I always imagined progress in Hollywood as slow, though now I don't see why.

I was struck by what Donna said about how old film reels are pieces of history because people didn't understand that they were being recorded. I immediately felt sad that now and forever, humans won't be able to treat cameras that way again. We've been conditioned to either run to the camera in hopes of being caught and published or hide from it or pretend it's not there, leaving us looking like suspicious and awkward creepers.

At the same time that it makes me sad that film has had this affect on humans, I'm also so grateful that movies have been a part of my life. When I was seven, I wanted to have hair like Ariel... so I layed in the bathtub for hours swishing my hair from side to side. When I was thirteen, I watched Tom Cruise do daring and dangerous stunts in Mission Impossible... so I organized a cross neighborhood spy game. When I was sixteen, Channing Tatum lifted his dance partner above his head in Step Up... so I fainted, then immediately wanted to drop everything, find a chiseled hottie, and become a professional dancer. There's no doubt that film has influenced my life in a number of ways.

I think I'll enjoy this class.

Test Run

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